I apologize for the sporadic posting. I really am sorry. But my friend sent me a link to this video which has me all fired up on this subject...I just HAVE to post about it now, while the million thoughts are running through my head. If you didn't already read yesterday's post, a fluffy family post, and you're curious about our new "news" I would encourage you to scroll down and read that first. This post will be quite controversial but I'm honestly hoping for a lot of feedback and discussion! It may be a long drawn out discussion since I'm down to a few people reading a day...but we'll see. Before you read anymore please go watch this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-3X5hIFXYU
First off, I need to admit something. Growing up as the oldest of 9 children and having the experience of always feeling criticized for that fact (mostly from Christians and some from non) I admit that until recently I either 1.) Didn't want the subject to come up because it brought a lot of pain or 2.) The subject did come up but I was so defensive in my response that I unknowingly brought an abrupt end to the conversation. If you happen to be an individual who experienced the latter with me, I am truly sorry. I believe I'm to the point now where even though I do feel strongly on this subject I am open and WANTING an open, honest discussion on family planning (as Christians.)
To open up a discussion I'd like to present a case for why I have come to the conclusion I've come to. And that conclusion is, in a nut shell, that more often then not God wants to bless us as believers with more than 1.8 children. He wants His kingdom to grow through us reproducing AND evangelizing the world. Because I am not spending days writing and rewriting my position I may go back and change or edit something. But again, I'm anxious to open up this can of worms while the topic is heavily on my mind!
First off I'd like to address the most common "reasons" I have been told why Christian couples choose to limit and/or control the size of their family and my response to them.
1.) "I couldn't handle anymore children."
I believe that most people who use this as a reason to limit their family size do so very sincerely. They may feel overwhelmed at home with the children they already have and feel like they couldn't do a good job if they were to allow any more little ones into their lives. I understand this as I have gone through many things in my life that if I had known beforehand were going to happen and also had the choice to opt out, I probably would have! However this is not a biblical response. If you look at any of the heroes of the faith in the Bible all were called at one time or another to do something beyond their capability. God longs to do the "impossible" through us, His willing vessels. The truth is, we don't know what we can handle. Many of us go through situations in life that we didn't know we could handle yet were brought to the other side of the bridge, by God's grace.
2.) "I wouldn't be able to properly provide for them."
Because I grew up in what was considered to be a "poor" family and because a lot of that was due to the number of children my parents had I feel like this is a very easy case to argue. Not always (so please don't feel judged if this doesn't apply to you) but more often then not I feel like this reason has roots of selfishness. Many don't want to consider what they would have to give up material wise should they have more than 2 kids. The responsibility to provide and care for several children sounds overwhelming, I know. But when it comes down to it many Christians really don't want to consider giving up their nice car or home. Or yearly vacation. Or free time on the weekend. We must be very, very careful not to make such a big decision on something that can be rooted out of selfish desires. Or fear, for that matter. You may think "we're barely making it month to month as it is, there is no way we could survive if we had more mouths to feed." I and many, many large families can testify that as the family grows the Lord provides. You have to learn to live without some luxuries, but He does take care of our needs. I have absolutely NO regrets growing up in a "poor" home. In fact, I am extremely grateful for this. Even though compared to the rest of the world we never were "poor", compared to my friends who grew up in wealthy families we were and many friends who didn't experience life like we did suffered in some ways because of it. If everything is handed to you on a silver platter or you grow up with comforts and luxuries, viewing them as "necessities" it is going to be a lot more difficult to put others above yourself once you're out in the world. I see this firsthand in some of my friend's lives. Growing up for them was about ease, comfort and entertainment. They struggle to think of a world outside of themselves. Please know that I do not, by any means, want to make a generalization that those who grow up in wealthy families are doomed for failure. I know many wealthy families who have children who love the Lord, wholeheartedly. But we must reevaluate this reason if we are using it to control our family size. Am I making this choice based out of fear or selfishness? Am I lacking faith that God can and will provide?
3.) "I've seen what can happen to large families and the chaos that entails and I don't believe that honors God. I don't want that for my family."
Believe me, I do understand this reasoning. I am not naturally a very tolerant person of chaos. Spending a day in a home that is chaotic sends me home with a head ache and a heavy heart! We probably all know at least one large family that lives in constant chaos and it overwhelms us just thinking about it. But let's step back and look at this situation objectively. Is it really the number of children that is the problem? Or is the heart of the issue something else? I have walked into homes that have 1-3 children that are loud and chaotic. I've babysat for families who only have a few children yet their daily lives are far from peaceful. I have also walked into a house that was home to 10+ children but unless you knew the family personally you'd be shocked to discover that fact! The house is quiet. The children are respectful and peaceful while in the house. It is pleasant to spend time in a home like that. With that being said, could the heart of the issue be something completely different? It is true that if you have 2 out of control children in the home it still isn't as chaotic as 10 out of control children in the home. But why not focus on getting the children under control vs. using that as a reason to not have any more? If you are one who believes that every child should be involved in extra curricular activities then the thought of running here and there taking your kids to this practice and that practice then having more than 2 kids sounds impossible. And it probably would be. However we need to reevaluate why we believe all of these extra curricular activities are so important and whether or not they are the best for our family.
4.) "I wouldn't be able to spend the individual time with them that they need."
This is a very sincere concern on the part of many parents. But again, as the oldest of 9 it comes down to the parents making family time happen. Most kids would get bored with more than 20 minutes of one-on-one time with a parent. Family activities are so healthy and SO much fun in a large family! As long as parents are available for a child when it is needing individual attention, then really that is the main thing. I never felt "attention deprived" growing up and the amount of one on one time with my parents was rather minimal. Some children may need more than I needed but overall this is a concern that parents need not have. As long as family is important to you, you will be able to spend the time with your children that they need. I spent a month with a family here in Brazil who has 55 children (53 are adopted). If you walked into their home you would not be met with sad looking faces on the children who were so "attention deprived." On the contrary, they have a family unity that is amazing and although it is rare for a child to get more than 10 minutes of individual time with a parent at a time they are very happy and content children. The family dynamics were amazing!
5.) "I've seen large families with very dysfunctional children. That is not what I want."
There is something extremely sad about witnessing a large family send several dysfunctional children into the world. Instead of changing the world for good they have only added to the problem. But similar to question 3, can we honestly say that the size of the family is to blame? Sure, it's worse to add 10 basket cases to today's population than 2 but what is the heart of the issue? Let's focus on WHY those children have issues in their lives and seek to correct it. Not use that as a reason to not have more than a few kiddos.
6.) "Having more than a few children will hinder the ministry the Lord has given me."
Being on the mission field this is a very common concern. Children take time, which takes away from "ministry." But we have to remember that raising children is for a limited amount of time. "Ministry" may have to be put on hold for a short time but in the end the world is going to receive more "ministry" when you send several soldiers for Jesus out into the world! Not to mention how having children in itself opens up doors to ministry that otherwise wouldn't exist. God may place a desire in you to minister in a certain people group in a particular way (Indians, orphans, unbelievers at work, etc) and maybe you won't be able to go at it 100% while having children at home to raise. However, that doesn't mean that one day you won't be able to give it 100%. And who knows, maybe you'll have a grown son or daughter who has the same desire who can come along side and continue that ministry even after you're gone! There are so many possibilities. We have to be very careful not to rationalize and spiritualize a decision we've made without taking the time to pray and seek the Lord's hand.
Those seem to be the main concerns presented to me by those who choose smaller family sizes. If there is another biggie that I have missed please feel free to include that in the comment section!
Before I say anymore please let me clarify that I am not convinced that God wants everyone to have 6 or more children. My main motivation for writing this out and spurring on a discussion is because SO MANY never truly sit back, pray and seek the Lord in this area. It is the norm for a Christian couple to be counseled to put off having children a few years after they are married to "get to know each other" or "grow in their relationship" before the burden of children is put on them. Trying to decide "the perfect" time to have children is a scary thought because there is no perfect time. God uses children to grow us up and mature us in many ways. I realize that isn't the only way God matures us. It just seems like God likes to use children as a tool for growing His children. Why try to prevent that or delay it?
This IS a gray area to some extent and I understand that. There is no "thou shalt not limit the size of your family" written in His word. But I believe so much of it is about our mindset. I'm not including specific verses because it would take way too long (this is already taking up my afternoon!) but if you read throughout the Bible (especially the Psalms) you will see that children are labeled as a blessing. Do we really believe that? You will also see that the command God gave Noah (and never retracted or changed) was to "be fruitful and multiply." We've seen from the video what some of the consequences are (and will be) by not multiplying. The world would scoff at this idea, I'm sure, that having children is a godly act. Remember, it's not just having children but raising and training them to love Jesus...and to share His love with the world!
on a side note...
It is interesting to go back and discover the history of family planning in the U.S. We can learn so much about a subject by studying it's history! Who pushed this idea in our country? What were her intentions?
I want to reiterate again that although I do feel rather firm in my belief on this subject I understand that others will contemplate, pray, seek the Lord and come to a different conclusion. Really, that's ok because ultimately it is between us and the Lord. My biggest desire, as mentioned earlier, is to stimulate a discussion and for those who have never taken the time to pray about this subject objectively, would be inspired to do so. Let's discuss this very sensitive topic and may the Lord be glorified in it!
Let me end with one of my favorite quotes about children....
"Children are the luxury of marital life, the treasure of the parents, the wealth of the family life. Their presence develops a great number of virtues in the parents, the father and mother: love, devotion and self-sacrifice, the care for the future, interest in the community, the art of education. Children check selfishness in parents, reconcile the contrasts, soften the differences, bring the hearts of the parents ever closer to each other, give them a common interest that lives outside of themselves, and open their eyes and hearts to their surroundings and posterity."
-Dr. H. Barinck
Principle Two - Part 3
4 years ago
23 comments:
You ought to read liberal facism. Do you think that video will inspire Christians to have more, or our society to try to enforce abortion/family planning on the "unfit"?
Good point. That thought had not crossed my mind. And that, dear brother, is why YOU should have written this post and not me! Wanna rewrite it for me?
I stopped having children mainly because my husband didn't want any more and I had reached the point where I could say, "O.k. we can be done." Perhaps it was selfishness on his part. If so, the Lord gave us many children worth of character development in our youngest. We are constantly being challenged to apply biblical principle to his dicipline and our hearts concerning him. Being now in my late 30's and with certain physical problems, I can say I am thankful for where we are and that I didn't fight my husband on his decision. We have four beautiful children who have all asked Jesus to come into their hearts and be Lord of their lives. We are indeed very blessed. I imagine some things are "easier" for us because only have four children, but we have also been blessed and ministered to by several large families, including yours.
I do agree with you for the most part. However, I think there are often reasons we don't know or haven't considered when contemplating this subject. Thankfully, we have a God who knows our human frailties and is faithful to dicipline and love us in spite of them.
Being the mother of the nine children raised in a financially "poor" environment (poor compared to most Americans ... rich compared to every other nation) -- I must say that my kiddos were well prepred for primative, rough, and challenging mission trips! Ha
Scripture teaches that God does not give us more than we can bear, that children are a blessing, and that if we are seeking His kingdom, He will provide all our needs.
If you want your eyes opened to the birth of birth control in our country, read "Killer Angel," the story of Margaret Sanger.
Wow - so much to say and so little brain power... (i'm referring to me, not you :)
To me the issue, as always seems to be the case with God, is motive. He wants everything done to the glory of God. Believe it or not, I've seen families NOT use birth control, have many children...yet their motive was wrong. Maybe pride. Maybe wrong theology (like Mormons or Muslims!)
We've tried to teach our children, and use as a litmus test for future in-laws, that the heart issue is to love children.
If you see them as a burden, and not the blessing God says they are -then there is usually an underlying reason....Many of which you named in your post. Selfishness. Fear. Materialism. Lack of trust in God. Laziness.
I usually counsel younger couples to use natural family planning if they feel they need to (try to) control births. At least it's not permanent, and because it's a hassle and takes self-control to adhere to, it's a real motive-revealer!
Good post, Kelley. Great video. I'm glad to see it making it's way around. I'm a realist, and I doubt if it will make many people change their minds...but maybe it will get them thinking.
I'm not sure I understand Jon Jon's point about the unfit....But he's so much smarter than me that he's probably got a good point!
I'm almost afraid to weigh in on this one. I'm not good at this, but I know God has been faithful in providing for our family--even when we took on an extra teenager.
God has only given us one precious child with no b/c except in the beginning of our marriage. I always thought we would have a big family...maybe not 9, but I always pictured around 4 (maybe because I came from 4?)
Of course, at this point, I'm 100% agreeing to letting God plan the family. However, if I had had more children I cannot truly say that I would feel this way ...having never walked in those shoes.
It's kind of like looking at the speck--around the plank, you can only truly depend on your OWN relationship with the Lord to make such decisions. Is that relativism? Probably, but I'm just being honest in the discussion. This is tough not to just generalize and figure it should apply to everybody! (and this probably does not make sense to anyone but me.)
The youtube video is very moving, definitely made me want loads of kids... One problem with this strategy though is that muslims (and most old testament heroes) rely heavily on polygamy... that's their approach to 'family planning'! I sometimes wonder if we are meant to outnumber them anyway, there is an argument that God often uses small numbers of faithful people. What I am trying to say is that fertility rates alone can't tell the whole story. Besides, if we stick to the rules - one husband to one wife - (which I personally think we should) we are never going to catch up... we are too far behind now. This might be a bit too far fetched, but I can't help but think of the end times and the outnumbered army of Christ in its last stand.
so interesting. i could not for the life of me get that video (or any of the other videos that feature the same thing on youtube) to work, but will keep trying. but, i too wrote about this on my blog...several times over the course of this past year. the final one has links to all the other posts and then our final 'thoughts' on it. found here if you want to read it (too much for your comments section probably :) ): http://michawn.blogspot.com/2009/02/part-2-finally.html
i think it is HORRIBLE how so many just do what they have always wanted or thought in their head or what is the status quo...without really seeking God on this answer and what HE has in mind for them. it's very interesting here...we get LOTS of stares and questions and most of them are kindhearted and they love it...some have been very 'accusatory' almost...the 'why' would you do that kind of thing. and we only have 4 for heaven's sake (so far). ;)
great topic...i look forward to coming back and seeing what others say.
We are in a very unexpected place...because of health issues not really knowing what to do (have had multiple miscarriages over the past 1.5 years)... Not using natural family planning disrupts my ability to care for the children we do have...is seeking treatment for this issue (which is undoubtedly age related) trusting God any more than natural family planning (if it makes fertility "unnatural"). I think the issue is as complicated as people are...and I tend to think we've over spiritualized issues like this to the degree that they may even become a stumbling point for some (whether it's in pride legalism or just repulsion)
Right now I am praying for direction...have had a lab slip for the "next step" for months...and just trying to care for the children He has entrusted to me as well as I can. They are present potential children are not in the end I think He wants my focus on them and not my womb. Sorry for the poor editing key computer keys are flaking out on me!
I appreciate all of your comments! I readily admit that I, nor anyone immediate in my family have had health issues related to child-bearing. That does reveal a completely different aspect to the whole equation. I understand, Cathy, that I cannot fathom the position that you are in! I pray for His will and peace in your life!
And I do want to reiterate that if a couple seeks the Lord in this issue and comes out with a peace but a different conclusion than me, I totally respect that. I agree with you, Laura, that honoring your husband's decision is the bigger issue. I agree with you Princess that so much of it has to do with our motives! And I agree with you Waldir, that part of the reason muslims are procreating at such fast rates is because of polygamy. But at the same time perhaps God's command to Noah to be fruitful and multiply was for our own good and that even through their polygamy He would bless us with even more children, if only we were open to that? I don't know, just something to think about.
Keep the comments coming!
info on family planning here - Planning Families With Hormones
I have just been thinking about this issue recently and have written a very brief post on my thoughts. (http://lifeontara.blogspot.com) We have just recently had our 4th in 7 1/2 years. My husband and I are in our 40s. I am totally in agreement that family size is God's dominion. And that limiting it without much thought and prayer limits our blessings. But I also understand that it is between a family and God and is not for me to judge. My husband has been blessed enough and loves the children he has but truly does not want anymore. I am taking solice in the fact that I am to obey my husband. God put him in charge of our family. There are days that I wish he wanted more but majority of the days I am OK with it because I know ultimately God is in control of it all!
Great video- it does wake us up to the need for fervent evangelism. While I agree that the motivations for not having children are most often very selfish, I have not come to the conclusion that all use of birth control is sin. I think checking motivation is key and that most of the excuses people use for not having children (or more children) are just an excuse for selfishness.
I think (as you have stated) that the issue itself should not become an idol. If marriage and reproduction were the most important aspect of the church, than I think we would see that example through Paul and the other apostles. However, Scripture's focus is on the gospel and the furtherance of the gospel. So ultimately, the biggest issue is how we can glorify God- and while that may involve having many children, it is not the eternal issue.
The biggest issue I see with claiming reproduction as a means of keeping Christianity alive is that there is no guarantee that one's children will become Christians. Yes, while many children born to Christian parents will become Christians, there are many who won't. I think the bigger issue may be that Muslims do a better job of making disciples than Christians do.
Interesting post! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
A few responses to comments...
Michawn - I went over and read your different posts! Awesome. Really, even though you guys may have come to a slightly different conclusion then me that is my ultimate desire...that all Christian couples would take this issue before the Lord and really seek Him in this area. I appreciated reading your different thoughts as well as your thought process.
Also, because your first post mentioned the "pill" I wanted to include a resource. Many, many Christians are not aware that the pill is an abortaficient...the book that educated me in this area is by Randy Alcorn (fairly well known Christian author and pastor) called "Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?" If anyone is in doubt in this area this is a very informative book (about 90 pages) that also shows you how to do your own research.
Entrustedwith - Sorry, I don't know your first name! I went to your blog but didn't find it :-) Anyway, your comment about muslims being better at discipling their children made me really think. I think you're right! But is it because we aren't as capable? Or could it be that we don't take raising children as seriously? This may sound a bit critical (judgmental, perhaps?) but as I watch new Christian couples come to the point where they decide it's time to start a family I tend to question their motives. I watch them as they (generally speaking) get caught up in the excitement of pregnancy, setting up a baby room, etc. They go to a department store walking around with a scanner clicking on the usb of any product they think they'd like for their new baby. They have parties celebrating with friends this new life that is coming into the world and then they proudly show off the new infant once it is born. All of these things are totally innocent in and of themselves (and some good, who wouldn't want to celebrate a new life coming into the world?!) but what sends out a red flag to me is that babies have almost become like trophies today. And then once that baby grows into a willful, not always so cute toddler, child and then teenager, parents find themselves wondering why they even chose to have children. Obviously there is SO much involved but I am only wondering about the mentality that takes place when couples start having children. Are they mentally prepared to fight a spiritual battle for their children, raising them to be soldiers for Jesus, no matter what the cost? Or is it kind of like "kids would be fun...everybody else is doing it, we're now financially stable...let's go for it!" I feel like my generation in general is not taking parenting seriously (and I admit that I have spells where I don't take it seriously myself!) Anyone else have thoughts regarding this issue?
I completely agree with you. I don't think it's that Christians are not capable of discipling Children, it's just that they are not doing it! Kids are simply another thing that married couples have. It has been placed in the same category as buying a house, getting a career, etc. People in general do not understand the cost of discipleship, so how can they truly disciple their kids? It means sacrificing and raising children that are ready to give up everything for the sake of the gospel. Perhaps that is actually an argument for having a large family- being poor by the average American standard is great preparation for life-sacrificing discipleship! Ultimately, I think poor parenting is a result of not allowing the gospel to take root personally- when we understand what Jesus did for us in the atonement, it strips away the fairytale of the little house with the white picket fence and the the 2.5 children. It's no longer about US and what WE want. All we long for is to glorify Him because He is all that matters- and that means in every area including decisions on birth control and parenting. -Jenny (Pemberton) :)
Friends, I understand that poor parenting and lack of proper discipleship is a serious issue in Christian households. However, to say that they 'disciple their kids better' is unfair. In muslim families, children are born into Islam, they actually have no other choice, whereas the average Christian child is expected to 'make a decision' at some point in their life (but like one of you said 'there is no guarantee'). We mustn't confuse indoctrination and brainwashing with discipleship, they are based on different premises, they apply different methods and they render rather different outcomes.
Kelly, I just had to add my two cents on my personal experience? (From where else could I speak?) Our family size is static at two because of health also. My first child was born perfectly. My second pregnancy a 10-week miscarriage. My third child was born stillborn. I was pregnant with my 4th when I found out I had a genetic disorder that causes my babies to die in the womb and put me at great risk of death also. From that fourth pregnancy, my second child survived and I survived, but God and I had to have a serious heart to heart. Would I not be trusting Him if I chose to only have two children? Would I not be trusting Him if I kept trying to have more children and not succeeding? These were questions I had to ask, but in the end, the decision came with a sense of relief. I do believe there are no accidental people. If God creates a person, he chose them before the foundations of the earth, and there is nothing I can do to stop his or her existence. Sometimes that existence is just for a little while in the comfort of a womb, before being brought into the throneroom of God.
Great post! I totally agree with Waldir! They do not “disciple” their children in the sense of the word as we as Christians know it. Their children do not have a “choice” which is what Christianity is based on. It is close to the same mentality as gangs. They are your “family” but don’t cross or leave them or you might loose your life.
A Quote (since your mom likes them so) If children are a blessing and debt is a curse why do we prevent blessings and apply for curses!
I have enjoyed the comments! THANKS!
--Jess
Wow. Great post and great discussion. It's funny because I am from a family with five kids, raised in a Christian home and yet only two of us are really serving the Lord. Two fo the others had/have drug issues and one sister sends her kids to church but isn't serving God. There are no gaurentees in life. None. I loved having a large family growing up and I love my siblings. Something said in the comments about kids being like trophies really struck me because we were talking about this this weekend. My MIL asked me if I had had to work, would we have not had any kids. My response was that we would have stayed in our apartment or a smaller house or whatever in order for me to stay home and raise our kids. She asked because my SIL has one child who is in daycare 12 hours a day and then they go out on the weekends, leaving him with a sitter. He is nothing but a trophy to them and they consider themselves christian parents. There is no discipline, no time spent on heart issues, nothing. My inlaws dont' attend church and they are always conflicted by seeing us (try) to live a very biblical life and their daughter, claiming the same beliefs we have, living a completely selfish life. Regardless of how many children one has, I think it really comes down to this: As a believer, are we sheperding our children? Are we living authentic lives that help them understand Christ's sacrifice? Are we being hypocritical? Saying one thing and then doing another, confusing our children so that they see us as nothing more than being of the world anyway? One of the reasons I think that Muslims and Mormans have a better "sucess rate" aside from indoctrination and not having to make a choice, is that they live authentic (in their beliefs) lives. Life is black and white. End of story. So many Christians are calling themselves believers and destroying our kids with two sided-ness.
Does any of this make sense? I'm not always very good at expressing what I think. You did a great job with this topic. Thanks for starting the discussion!
I too, agree with Waldir (is that you, Junior?) I should have been more careful in my comment because I believe that there is a HUGE difference between the way Muslims raise their children vs. the way we should as Christians. My main objective by comparing the two was that as American Christians this day in age, we tend to not take parenting seriously. Do we look at our children and see how our main objective as parents should be to lead them to Christ? More often then not that isn't the case. Would EVERY child coming from a Christian family choose Christ if that were the case? I don't know. But I do believe that if every Christian couple constantly sought to raise their children in a home filled with the peace/love/truth (etc, etc) of God's Word then the huge numbers who are now turning away from their parent's "religion" would be greatly diminished. As Mamahen brought out (and statistically speaking I've read this several times) that what Christian parent's children turn away from is the hypocrisy they witness in their home and/or parent's lives. Can we change that? You betcha. Do I hear an amen?!! :-)
I kinda stumbled across this. But skimming through it I am challenged to live my ife now and discipline myself as I would want to discipline my children if I am ever to have them with the motive of to delight in Him and for His glory. To know His will and delight in Him. And boy, there are a lot of things I haven't even thought of about the original topic, I hope I can ask you lots of questions if I ever get to that place.
Hey Kel! I've enjoyed reading the discussion you inspired! You've always liked to do that! :D
My thoughts: First off, I don't yet have any children, and I don't come from a large family. I'm not claiming to be an expert or offer the absolute truth on the topic, but I'll happily add my opinion to those already posed.
For one thing, I agree with some of the others in that "beating" Islam is going to be impossible in our own strength due to the foundational differences between the two belief systems, but we have seen the struggle between the Judeo-Christian faith and the Islamic one since the conception of Ishmael. God's ultimate victory has been settled from the foundations of time, and I don't think we should let fear or statistics get us ruffled. We've been told the end of the story! We have to have faith that as we pursue the knowledge of God and strive to accomplish His will on earth, that He will take care of the rest. Christ never used fear to motivate anyone, and I think we should be careful that we don't allow ourselves to be motivated by it either, as it is the antithesis of faith - the way in which we are commanded to live our lives.
While I think it's VERY important to inform oneself of the facts, about "the pill" for instance, I think we have to be very careful, as you've mentioned several times, that we don't judge others for their decisions concerning the issues not directly mentioned in scripture. "Thou shalt not kill" is pretty clear, so any method of birth "control" that kills is clearly off the table, in my opinion. As others have also mentioned, raising children in the love and admonition of the Lord is a monumental task, and in my opinion, not one to be taken on lightly. I think people who have large families (or families of any size, for that matter) without thinking of the care and commitment needed to raise them in the knowledge of God are one of the main reasons some people have argued against large families.
I think another point that others have not brought up and is worth consideration while on the topic of family, is adoption. We're clearly told by Christ to care for the widows and orphans; I think it is a wonderful example of Christ's love to adopt some of the countless children who are being raised by a governmental system of some sort somewhere on this globe. I think this is a great option for those who can't have children and wish to raise more disciples for Christ, but I also think it's a viable option for those who can have children as well. (I know this is a bit of a rabbit trail, but I never promised this would be direct ;) So many people today, and many Christians I know of as well, work so hard and spend so much of the money God has entrusted to them to try to get pregnant when there are so many children already conceived, or even already born, who need our love and need to hear the truth of God's love for them. Feel free to follow up on this rabbit trail if you like!
I think you've made a very astute observation in your comment about children being seen as trophies in our generation. This is a serious problem which I think should be addressed by the church. Children are a blessing from the Lord, according to scripture, and I know that I personally want to be as grateful for and respectful of His blessings as I possibly can be.
Well, I've rambled on enough... Thanks again for opening up the discussion floor on one of the grey areas!
Good post. I think it's a good thing for children who have experienced growing up in a large family to write about the blessings since all too often, people cite what they aren't doing for their children as an excuse. Be it "I'm evil when I'm pregnant and I felt I wasn't being a good steward of what God had already given me, so we quit" or "I want to be able to give them all quality time and I can hardly give the ones I have NOW enough time" or "Mom was on bed rest 9 months out of every year" or whatever, kids who have lived through those things and would choose their experience over any other should be a reminder that what WE think isn't the ideal situation may be God's PERFECT situation for the children He's chosen to put in your family.
Post a Comment