"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father...that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and the length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:12,17b-19
These words really challenged me this week, my friends. I have many inner battles that most people don't know about (except for those who have to live with me, unfortunately!) and one of them is the intense desire to be used of God to draw many to Him but with many feelings of inadequacy and inability to do so. I long for every person I know or come into contact with to receive the gift of grace that has given me hope in this world and yet...what can I do? How can I share with people in an effective manner? Is anything I'm doing making any difference at all in this world?
There are still a lot of questions that I don't have answers to, but those verses in Ephesians gave me a piece to the puzzle. Universally what the world wants/needs is love. But the word love has been cheapened in our culture to the extent that I believe the average person doesn't really know what true love looks like. Most people haven't experienced real love. Everlasting love. Though the Father of agape love entered my life many years ago, my inner man (woman) struggles on a daily basis to accept that love. Which in turn deprives me of being filled up with His true love. Which prevents me from passing that same love onto others. I have come to the realization that I am guilty of cheapening the word love myself. I haven't allowed myself to bask in His perfect love (because of sin, pride, etc) and this alone will keep me from being full. Our nation is crying out to be filled with something real. Something more than material goods, fame and power. For those of us who know the God of love, we have the answer. And yet people like me are living lives of missed opportunities because we fail to accept that love for ourselves.
I have to be honest and tell you that I still don't really understand what it means to understand that love. I would imagine that a perfect understanding will not come until after this earthly life. But I do know one thing, I am going to try a lot harder to understand more and allow myself to be loved by Him more. I'm tired of living with small doses of real love and sporadic doses of cheap/fake love.
And I know something else.
Needless to say that my big opportunity yesterday to kick-start my new candle business didn't go as planned. I am a bit discouraged but I do love my candles (can I say that on my blog?) and am now trying to figure out a better way to market them. My mom and her friends have some great ideas that I'm going to pursue after the New Year but does anybody have any ideas of how to sell them before Christmas?