Friday, February 17, 2012

Choosing to see. Choosing to sacrifice.

Sacrifice. Can we, as Christians, find true satisfaction in life without sacrifice? I don’t think so. The entire foundation of our beliefs are based on the life of Jesus, who not only sacrificed his day-to-day living but eventually His life.

I’m learning this is so true as a mother. The more that I am willing to sacrifice my time, my dreams, my desires for myself and instead pour that same amount of energy into raising my girls and leading them to Jesus, the more fulfilled I feel as a mom. And I am deeply persuaded (as Paul Tripp says) that I will not regret this when my children are grown.

But it’s difficult.

It’s difficult because when I put them to bed I would much rather spend an hour or two doing things that I enjoy (pick 1 of my 234 hobbies and work on it :-) instead of washing the dishes that are in the sink, folding the laundry I didn’t get to during the day or even going to bed early to get the sleep I will so desperately need tomorrow.

It’s difficult because voices are in my head. “You deserve time for you, Kelley! You’ve been working all day, you need a break” or “You can’t forget about your own needs” or “Pamper yourself! You can’t forget to pamper yourself!”

A lot of these voices come from my culture.

There is some truth to the fact that if we neglect our physical and mental wellbeing we will not be able to minister to others as effectively. That is why I am sacrificing the most productive time of day for me, three times a week, and exercising with a group of ladies at the YMCA. As much as I love being with other ladies and sweating (and seeing my life flash before my eyes) I am continuing to do so because I know, I know that a mama who is in shape physically will be a better mom. I will feel better and I will have more energy and I will be modeling for my girls how to be healthy.

But we must not let the truth of neglecting our physical and mental wellbeing become an excuse for indulging ourselves. Or a reason to live in a state of self-pity. Or allowing it to lead us to sacrifice the best for the good.

Protecting my physical and mental health does not mean that I need hours to myself everyday. That is a very American mentality. The average mom in other countries doesn’t even know what it feels like to sit back and think “so, what shall I do now?” because her day is already planned out for her. It consists of finding food and water for her family that may or may not survive the coming weeks. No, she’s not worried about getting “me” time or pampering herself. She’s focused on mere survival.

And really that’s the thing about being American. We have so much to sacrifice. There is so much good to let go of, in order to find the best. We can oh-so-easily create a world for ourselves that is almost 100% comfortable and entertaining. We can oh-so-easily focus our minds on nothing but ourselves and our families.

I am working on a project. A very large project that is going to take up a lot of my “free time” (ha). Half of my time consumed in this project requires me to read about other countries. It just so happens that right now I am reading books about Uganda. I began my 3rd book about Uganda last night in the past month. It is called Slave Girl and it is a testimony about a girl from northern Uganda who was kidnapped by the LRA (Lord’s Resistance Army…if you’ve never heard of it I encourage you to look it up!) and survived years of torture under the army. I have only made it through the forwards, preface and introduction and you know what phrase I keep reading over and over?

 "Don’t ignore."

"We can’t ignore." 

"This really and truly is going on, we can’t ignore it."

Why did those individuals find it so necessary to plead with us not to ignore the suffering of others that we will encounter in the pages of this book?

Because they know. They know their audience will be mainly American. They know we are so good at ignoring. We sacrifice the well-being of others for our comfortable lifestyle. We sacrifice the time that we could be using to reach out to others, whether that be people in our neighborhood, our church, our city, our country or overseas. They know…we cope with difficult truths by ignoring. And so we sacrifice not only what is best for others but what is best for us as well.

I remember in one of K.P. Yohannan’s books he poses the questions (this is paraphrased, remember) “if you stepped outside your front door and found a child curled up on your door step who was obviously dying, would you step over her and continue on your way?” The reality is that no, we wouldn’t. We would scoop her up and rush her off to get the medical attention that she needs. We have the means to help her and with the immediate need in front of our eyes (where we can’t possibly ignore it) we will do what we have to do. But because we don’t have little girls dying on our doorstep we don’t have to sacrifice anything for them. Even though there are little girls curled up and dying on the ground. They just aren’t on my doorstep.

I hear more voices. “We can’t help everybody”. True. “We can only do so much”. True. But why, then, do we not do so much? If we can’t help everybody why don’t we help those that we can? Why don’t we go to the next starfish and throw that one in the ocean?

Because we don’t want to sacrifice. We don’t want to sacrifice our time. We don’t want to sacrifice our dreams. We don’t want to sacrifice our comfort. We simply don’t want to sacrifice.

We don’t want to sacrifice and what we don’t see is that we actually suffer because of it. Christians in third-world countries see it. I was flabbergasted when I remember reading in Richard Wurmbrand’s books that the persecuted church prays for us. Yes, they pray for us! Because they see how shallow our faith remains as we live in affluence and comfort and they yearn for us to experience the spiritual depth that they do.

Please don’t get me wrong, having wealth does not make us any less spiritual. I know that. But when we grow up with wealth being the norm, it makes it very, very difficult to see the world as it is. With wealth and comfort being the norm and having the ability/power to choose our own destiny we inadvertently limit the opportunities God has to work and amaze us with his power and glory. We also miss opportunity after opportunity for Him to work through us and minister to others.

We walk out our front door step and feel normal, since all of our neighbors have nice houses with electricity and running water. We can feel normal getting into our air conditioned vehicles because everybody around us does the same. I simply don't think about the fact that right now, as I turn on my kitchen sink to wash some dishes that there is a malnourished, blind child who spends all day, everyday, retrieving buckets of water for other people in order to feed herself. If this child were in front of me I would naturally do all in my power to fill her needs. Even if it meant sacrifice on my part.

If we want to have an accurate picture of the world we have to choose to see it as it is. It has to be a choice on our part to step outside the common, American mentality and try to grasp what life is like for others around the world. It takes time and effort, two things of which we rarely have any extra of. It would mean sacrificing something on our part just to see.

I am convinced that if we do this, we will want to sacrifice. I am deeply persuaded (thanks Mr. Tripp, I love saying that) that if living outside of ourselves becomes the norm then the natural outflow will result in blessing others and finding blessings ourselves.

This project of mine may become a lifelong project, I don’t know. But if it doesn’t I keep telling myself that I must make it a lifelong habit to read about everyday life in other countries. It makes ignoring so much harder to do.

Thank you for letting me step up on a soap box. I will now step down…now that I feel even more convicted after proof-reading the above and remembering how much I struggle with all of this.

On a more encouraging note, it looks like The African Children's Choir will be coming to town in a little over a week! If only I can find a place for them to perform a concert. It is more difficult than one might think to find a building that will allow these beautiful Ugandan cuties to perform! I’m hoping to hear from a school today. If they say no that will be my third strike.

But the good news is that most likely, the team made up of 16 Ugandan children and their 9 chaperones may come to town even if they can’t perform, as they need a place to stay. And Karis and I are ecstatic at that prospect! Both of us talk about it throughout the day. And it encourages me that hopefully, my 6-year old will have an acurate understanding of the world and how other cultures live. I pray that as she grows she will have a keen understanding that her life of privilege is not the norm. I also pray that she won’t live her life wanting the norm. Of course I’m the mom and slightly biased, but so far it seems as if we are on the right track.

My desire for this post was simply to ponder, more than anything. But if you made it to the end and you have opinions or insight, please feel free to speak your mind in the comment section! I usually don’t leave comments myself but will try to do so in this post if others would like to dialogue about the above.

If you need a good book to read to help expand your view of the world, read Kisses from Katie or The Price of Stones…those will help :-) 


Jon Jon Wesolowski said...

There's a guy named Jackson who went to IMPACT360 two years after I did. He was in the Africans children's choir when he heard news that his orphanage was blown up and, because of the turmoil in Liberia, he couldn't return (the The Terminal).

Up until this point he had seen his family burned alive, friends kidnapped, two of his orphanages bombed and burned, best friend stabbed in the face with a bayonet, and hid in a pile of dead bodies for three days without food while waiting for the marauders to leave the area. He was only nine.

At that point, back in america, a guy took him and his seven friends up in front of the church and asked "what are you going to do about this? These boys have no home, and what was left of home, was bombed today"

The pianist played soft music, they began to pass the plate and a pastor played when the man interrupted: "No! What are YOU going to do? Who is going to commit today to adopt one of these boys? Who is going to sell their boat to save their lives? I want one person, at least, to commit to each of these boys!"

All seven of them were adopted. They live in North Carolina and see each other from time and time again. A lot of time people don't do anything because of something people call compassion fatigue. And it's the idea, like you mentioned, that there is so much to do and they can only do little. But I think Edmund Burke said it best and aptly whenn he said

"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he can only do little."

Edmund Burke

People used to say the Holocaust could have been stopped if people had only known. I think that's bullcrap. Everyone knows now, and silently no one does even little. Some people make a living off of writing books, of saying something, but the general population does nothing because they can only do little.

Kelley said...

Wow. All I can say is, wow.

I love that quote. and I didn't know there was a name for it, but I can understand compassion fatigue and unfortunately have let it dictate certain decisions in my life as well.

Thanks for your thoughts, brutha!

(this really is Kelley, I'm just signed in under a different gmail account)

Michawn said... all this. amen to your blog post...and your brother's comment. just wow.

i literally read this blog post about an hour before i read your here today: i thought of that post as i was reading this one. just finished 'kisses from katie' myself. gosh, i love life-changing books.

i just read the first part of the book this rachel chic mentions in her post...'at the table.' love. can't wait to read it all. even the foreword is worth the read. :) but, it all looks good (go to amazon and look at the right-hand can read the first portion of the book for free). anyway...just wanted to say a big 'amen!' to this. thanks. i might share this link soon if that's ok.

sidenote: you know shannon russell is my neighbor now. love her. why don't you come visit us? ;)