My Cup Overflows

If I've ever felt like I'm living in the fast lane, it's now. Hence, another 7 1/2 months since my last blog post...but I was determined...absolutely determined NOT to wait another 8 months to post. So go me. I could even put this off a few weeks if I really wanted to (I only kind of wanted to).

Ok folks, you need to meet our newest munchkin!

Tessa Faith Kroeker entered our lives on April 22nd.

The whole birth thing is a story in and of itself...yet not a bloggy kind of a story.

Tessa entered this world with an incredibly soft whine and wide open eyes. Our hearts melted, that's for sure! We enjoyed a very short night in the hospital before it felt like the rug was pulled out from under us.

Because our plans didn't include this.

Or this....

Or this....

Aw, my sweet baby girl. Apparently Tessa had a lung infection that required 3 days of antibiotics. And then 7. Looking back, that week in the NICU really wasn't so bad, but everything unexpected seems very, very bad to a mom who has recently given birth. Thank goodness for my hubby, who stayed that week in the hospital with me. Oh I cried. A lot. Enough crying to last me another 5 years or so, I think. But thankfully the crying came to an end and we got to take our new not-so-little bundle of joy (9 lbs 2 oz) home.

Karis was very ready to meet her new little sister! But not too excited to come back home. She stayed with J's parents that week and had quite a fun time. In fact, when my MIL told her "mommy is coming home today!" Karis responded "well, I don't want to go home!" She told Karis "Oh, mommy would be sad if she didn't get to see you." "well that's ok" Karis said, "I'll go visit her". Ha. My independent girl. Turns out home ended up becoming more appealing to her with the presence of a new baby...we convinced her to stay :-)

And I can't tell you what a wonderful big sister Karis is. This picture pretty much sums up how the two of them feel about each other.

Karis is a huge help! Too much of a help, sometimes. Like today, after I set Tessa in the high chair (because she is 6 months old now) I turned around to get her some food and there sitting in front of her face were ALL of her baby toys out of her toy basket, stacked on top of her tray. Every. Single. One. I don't think she even knew what to do but big sister was standing by her side, beaming, knowing she saved Tessa from 30 seconds of boredom while mom mashed up some avocado. I love my girls. And I'm so glad that they love each other.

A few more pics....

A more recent pic of the two....

And a more recent pic of Tessa-lou....

So yes, life has changed. A lot. I wake up in the morning feeling like I just finished off a bottle of Nyquil and I go to bed feeling like I just finished off a bottle of Nyquil (and I wake up several times a night feeling the same). But other than that, my cup overflows. Sometimes I struggle with the fact that I often go to bed with a sink full of dishes, or wake up to a little more clutter than I would like, or the fact that I feel like a blob (exercise? what's that?) but overall I know this is only temporary. And I'm soaking it all in! I can't tell you how much I enjoy hearing two different voices giggling in our home. Or getting to snuggle with a baby in my lap and a little girl snuggled up to my side. Or reading books to Karis at night before she goes to bed and seeing two little hands reach up, grab the book and attempt to insert it into her mouth (followed by a Karis giggle). I am so, so blessed.

8 months. Yep, 8 months.

Anybody out there?

July.

I have not posted since July. How in the world do you try to catch up on a blog when you've been gone for 8 months? Surely there is no easy way. But surely it doesn't matter as nobody has enough patience to continue visiting a blog that has been abandoned for 8 months. Or 240 days to be almost exact. But since I claim to really blog for myself (in order to be able to look back and remember a few things about my life) I guess it shouldn't matter. ha.

So here are the highlights that have occurred since July, 8 months ago. Or 240 days ago.....

* Karis began going to a  Mother's Day Out program at a local church twice a week. She absolutely LOVES it. I couldn't have picked a better program and/or teacher for her. It has been a wonderful, wonderful experience.

* My sister-in-law and her family (with the two boys pictured above) came to reside in the area off and on for a year. It is great to have them here and Karis loves having two cousins to play and fight with. Usually there isn't much fighting involved. Hallelujah.

* We moved in our home! Which, ironically, ended up being an 8 month project. I'm so glad I didn't know that in the beginning or I might have lost heart. Now that we are here (and there are only minor details to finish) it seems well worth it. I'm not sure my in-laws (who dedicated just as much of their time as we did ours towards the house) would say the same but we are truly grateful :-)



And now for the big news that nobody out there is waiting for.....

* Another 8-month project is getting ready to join us...hopefully in less than 6 weeks! This picture was from an ultrasound I had yesterday. The baby is already so big (since I'm almost 35 weeks along) that it was difficult to see anything of detail. The technician finally got a good shot of the face, for which I am very grateful. After seeing the face it really began to sink in. I mean, this little life inside of me...it has a face! Wow. I think Jonathan and I said something about it "sinking in" more than once on the way home yesterday. And each time we kind of looked at each other and just giggled. It still doesn't seem real but we know that all too soon it will be. And we are so blessed and excited and nervous and excited. And Karis seems excited and unsure of the changes taking place and excited. She will be my incredible helper, I know. With almost 5 1/2 years difference between these two I think adding child #2 to the family will be easier in some ways. When I sit down to feed the baby and realize how incredibly thirsty I am there will be a set of little legs to run and go get me a drink of water. ha.

I am truly a blessed woman.

Random procrastination.

It is Saturday. So far I have finished slicing and drying 29 of the 30 mangoes I bought last week. Played half of a Go Fish game. And played "Do you have a match? No I do not." That last game was created by my 4-year old. And just in case you didn't know, the only game more torturous than Chutes and Ladders is a game created by a child under the age of 10. But I'm a good mommy (sometimes) and so I endured. For about 10 minutes.

Sometimes I think about how much I look forward to playing games with Karis that are slightly mind stimulating. But I know that all too soon I will miss the days of Queen Frostine and Granma Nut. Just like I miss the days of sleep deprivation because it meant I got to hold a chubby baby on a daily basis. And I miss the days of cleaning up tupperwar. And then the days of Baby Einstein and The Donut Man. And then the days of...well, you get the point. 

There are phone calls to make, laundry to do and work to be done at "the other" house yet here I sit, posting on my blog.

So I must find something, anything to write about today.

Hmmmmmm.....

Oh, I know.

We got to hold a baby skunk! Really...he was so cute.

That really is a baby skunk. My friend found him abandoned on the side of the road (dying?) and cared for him for the weekend 'til an animal rescue opened up on Monday. They took him to raise and release back into the wild. I learned quite a bit about skunks. Like, they actually make great pets if you invest enough time when they're little to train them.

Ok....what now....

Oh. Yeah. We got out countertops installed (is that not one word? There is a red squiggly line underneath it but I really feel it should be one word and so leave it I shall). We ended up going with solid surface since we got a great deal through a company that a friend used to work for. I am oh-so-excited!

The finished product (though the kitchen still needs painting).

So you have to check out one of my new favorite pictures. At some point I am going to enlarge this one and frame it!

My pyro child.

Alright, so it's been about 15 minutes of procrastination and I can't handle it anymore. I must get something done! And I keep hearing a little voice say "let's play Candy Land....let's play Chutes and Ladders".....

This world is broken. And I want to fix it.

I went to the grocery store yesterday and it broke my heart. This isn't the first time it has happened but for some reason it really hit me this time. Enough to where I aimlessly walked up and down a few aisles because I didn't want to be caught crying in a grocery store.

It began when I pulled up into the parking lot. I must admit that my emotions are a bit out of control these days as the ongoing unsettled-ness begins to wear on me and as summer activities pick up I begin to feel...well, unsettled. And I am so NOT a multi-tasker so the small, daily decisions overwhelm me.

Anyway, back to pulling into the parking lot. As I pulled my swagger wagon into a parking space I saw an elderly man walk out of the grocery store. It wasn't just that he walked slow and hunched over but something in my heart told me that he was in need. In need of what? I don't really know. It was obvious that driving to town and getting groceries was probably a daunting task for him. And by the appearance of his clothes and vehicle I concluded that he probably has financial challenges as well. I sat there with an overwhelming desire to want to help him but not knowing how. What could I do, anyway? I sat in my van, watched him and prayed. "Lord, if there is something I should do, please make that clear." He slowly loaded his groceries into his car, pushed his cart to the side and then slid his cane in before entering himself. I still didn't know what I should/could do. I entered the store and began to pray for him.

What should have taken me 3 minutes to pick up the 2 items I needed took me about 15. I couldn't stop thinking about him. Until I made my way to the register and noticed what I thought to be about a 5 month old baby sitting in a cart in front of me. A baby that was rather unkept and dirty. That probably sounds judgmental. I realize that sometimes kids get dirty and the fact that they aren't picture-perfect in the store doesn't reveal much about parenting (some of the best parents I know don't give a flying zucchini if their kid's hair is fixed, their shoes are on the right feet, etc). However, when a baby that can't even crawl is dirty it makes me wonder. And that is when my mind began to wander from the elderly man to the baby. And then to the baby's parents.

Before we went to Brazil 6 years ago I was miserable here in TN. I felt like I had nothing to offer and I couldn't wait to get out and begin a new adventure. I was bored, lonely and insecure. And if for no other reason I am thankful for the Brazil adventure because there were issues in my life that needed dealing with. Issues that I didn't even realize were there! One, and probably THE main issue was the fact that I was living a completely self-absorbed life. The average onlooker probably wouldn't have seen it that way (I did what I had to  in order to look like a good Christian) but my heart was very self-centered. And living a self-centered life is incredibly dissatisfying.

This is beginning to sound like a confession. Just trying to give some perspective :-)

So after living in a 2nd world country (sometimes 3rd world, depending on where you are)  and seeing what I considered to be a much greater need I thought that finding a ministry here would be difficult. Wrong. I can safely say that I am overwhelmed at the need I see around me. And that here, smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt. Whatever blinders were set before my eyes pre-Brazil days have been removed (at least partially...I am sure as I grow and mature and become more involved I will be more aware of the needs around me). And I am dumbfounded. I see the danger of being spread too thin if I try to fill every need I see.


But this world is broken. And I want to fix it.


I want the man at the grocery store to have whatever physical help he needs to perform necessary tasks. I want there to be somebody in his life that brings a smile to his face. I want him to know Jesus and find that no matter how challenging his life on earth is, that he still has eternity to look forward to and enjoy.


I want the baby in the grocery cart to grow up in the security of a stable family. I want him to have a daily bath. And not because keeping all the dirt off is important but because he will know that he has two parents who love him enough to take care of his physical needs. And I want him to grow up in an environment where it is easy for him to accept Christ's love because he receives it through his mom and dad every day.


I want the single mom who has 5 kids by 5 different men to somehow be able to understand that Christ's love for her is so beyond the non-love she has received her entire life that she can stop trying to find it through the scum bags that father her children. I want her to be surrounded and loved by the church. I want her heart healed and I want her to be able to exemplify that healing to her children who have already experienced much of the pain she had to deal with as a child.


And as burdened as I am for these people I am just as concerned about something else.


May I step up onto a soap box?


Why of course I can...this is my blog and step up I shall :-)


I am concerned and disheartened that so many believers around me seem unconcerned for these people. Why? Why is it SO normal for a young family to spend hours and hours every week transporting their children to and from extracurricular activities but finding a few hours to spend with a hurting family seems out of the question? How can believing young adults spend 99% of their free time playing video games, going to movies and hanging out with their friends and think nothing of it? How can empty-nesters justify spending a majority of their free time playing golf, quilting, gardening, etc, and limit their serving to helping in the nursery every few months? How can we completely ignore the elderly in our lives, pushing that responsibility onto average paid workers who either can't get another job or are settling for an average-low paid job because they actually care?


Our country is broken and I want to fix it.


It isn't true that everybody is the way I described above. It just seems to be the norm. But maybe the burden I feel is clouding my vision. Because I HAVE come into contact with some believers who are genuinely concerned for the hurting people around them. And they are making that effort to step out and help the hurting.


It is now mid-morning and I am feeling inclined to step off my soap box.


And if you're still reading this, thank you. Thank you for letting me vent and thank you for being gracious. Because it really is silly that I have the nerve to step up on a soap box and point out what I think others aren't doing when I myself have spent the past 30 years of doing the same. And because I am at risk for becoming as desensitized to the hurt around me as I was before we lived in Brazil. And because I have other sin/heart-issues thatI need to give over to the Spirit.


At this point I see the hurt but I don't know what to do.



At this point I know that people are broken and only Jesus can fix them.

Growing girl, Goats and Garden.

It is bittersweet when your child is old enough to go to VBS! What a fun stage this is and yet...my little girl is growing up. I wish I could shrink her into the baby that she was for about 30 minutes everyday and enjoy that part all over again.

Here she is with her cowgirl bandanna that she insists on wearing everyday to VBS. On the ride home each day  I get to hear about what cowgirls do :-)

 The grieving began yesterday when she realized that after today and tomorrow this week of VBS will be over. Never fear, I tell my child. Another friend's church starts their VBS next week...you get to start all over again on Monday! ha. 

The timing of these two weeks of VBS is actually great as things are really coming along with the house! Bob-the-builder arrived from MI again to come dedicate ANOTHER week of his life to help us get this house move-in ready. Wow, we are so thankful! He and Jonathan already started this morning working on the kitchen cabinets. But before I get ahead of myself, here are some recent pictures leading up to this week....

The dry wall is completed. Having dry wall instead of exposed logs has totally transformed the inside of the house!

Now the painting can begin.

Downstairs bath painted.

Guest bedroom, painted.

Fan and track-light installation

Fan and track-light installation complete.

Front wall of Karis' room is built.

Looking into Karis' future room.

My man of danger :-) 

We picked up kitchen cabinets on Monday! The ONLY day we haven't had rain in several weeks.

If you're a part of my facebook world then you are already familiar with the infamous paneling. Even though I got way more votes to paint vs. leave it...well, the man of the house says leave it. And leave it we shall. For now :-)

I'm hoping Karis' choice of "dress-up" clothes isn't an indication of her future clothing choices.

So here's a question for ya. What do you do when you have so many things going on, including a house being remodeled and 5 sets of company arriving within a week, and you just don't know what to do? If you're me then you pack up and head to a goat show for a weekend.

Totally kidding. Ok, no I'm not. I really did. My friend who owns the goats I care for (when she travels) invited me to join her and her husband to a real goat show! How could I pass up such an opportunity?

The adventure began with an almost 4 hour drive down south....

Then setting up "camp" in a barn with hundreds of noisy goats (I can almost guarantee you that you have no idea the type of sounds that can be emitted from the mouths of goats)...

I wasn't quite brave enough to sleep in the open like everybody else so I took my tent, somehow hoping that my snoring would be muffled by the fabric around me. Fortunately I didn't sleep at all so no need to worry about that. 

Morning began with more peculiar sounds (not from my friend's goats but others) and lots of shuffling feet.

Udders had to be checked, fur trimmed, etc, before the show.

First they held the showmanship competitions. This competition is focused on the person showing the goat and not the goat itself. 

Here is a pic of the kid's showmanship competition. They were cute.

And here is my friend receiving one of her many prizes that her Alpine dairy goats brought in.

I just have to warn you that through the summer I will probably, more often than not, include something on my gardens. And this post is no exception.

I think if the rain would stop and give us some more sun then things would grow a bit faster but even still, things aren't looking too bad!

I am super happy about my dill. I LOVE dill. Dill and I are like little kids and ketchup. I want to put it in everything!

Basil is doing nicely as well...if I don't put dill in a recipe I usually put fresh basil :-)

The garden in the back is doing pretty well.

I have to admit I struggle with a bit of what I call NGE (new gardener envy). In my head I know that this is my first garden, that I could spend a lifetime learning and improving my gardening techniques and yet still...I want the perfect garden. And it isn't always easy seeing the awesome gardens around here! But, I say that because the ONE thing that I feel I am succeeding at...the ONE thing that is thriving in my garden is cucumbers! Oh how I love my cucumbers. Seeing those long, green things laying/hanging around just warms my heart!

Here are a few pics of my Japanese cucumbers.

There are a few problem areas as well.

Like Eggplant.

Oh what could the problem be? :-) 

And then I have this one tomato bush. 

Can you tell which one has the issues?

What is up with you, my dear tomato plant?

All of the tomato plants started off around the same size. The rest have grown several feet except for this one which hasn't grown at all. Any ideas? I'm lost on this one. 

We celebrated our 9th anniversary yesterday! Well, we didn't really celebrate as we had too much going on. But we will...eventually! I am very blessed to have such a great husband, that is for sure.